angels-and-angles:

As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…

“When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things a girl can do, whether they mean it or not.”

and ”The perennial location of nice guys everywhere.”

Although this hypothetical situation could work both ways, friendzone is almost always applied to a man who is rejected by a woman. Therefore, there is something inherently unequal, something inherently sexist about the term “friendzone”. But what and why?

From my experience, this is what friend zone is. A “nice guy” pursues a woman, but isn’t forward with his intentions from the get-go like, say, a “jerk”. The woman is pleased to see a man who is interested in her not as a sexual object but as a human being and wishes for things to stay that way. The man is not satisfied with seeing the woman as a human being because being “expected to support a girl” is a bad deal if she’s not putting out.

Before I delve into the sociological aspects of this, I just want to point out that ”friendzone” is no more pleasant for a woman than it is a man. First, that is to say unrequited love works both ways, but the person who doesn’t return affections is considered mean only when she’s a woman. And second, what option does the woman have in a traditional “friendzone” situation? Just stop talking to a close friend to avoid “leading him on”? In high school, I found out my best friend of 2 years liked me. Having to tell him I didn’t feel the same way and being immediately ex-communicated via Facebook status (“Thanks for wasting my time”) was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Were our two years of friendship invalid because I didn’t want anything more? Was all our time together really wasted because there was no hypothetical pay off?

Guys who do this and claim to be “nice guys” are the worst misogynists because of their sense of entitlement toward a woman. They make investments in property and expect their dividends. They are fake friends. They are selfish. And they will jump at the chance to vilify you and victimize themselves when their attempts at manipulation don’t work. Clearly, “friendzone” is the remnant of a phenomenon that has plagued women since the beginning of time: women are not independent creatures. Our love lives exist only in the context of a man’s desire. When we make independent decisions, we are subject to a host of derogatory terms. “Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”

(via forallintensivepurposes)

it is official: I regret graduating early.

(via fuckyeahuva)

ten-year-old blue soffe shorts = weekend outfit staple.

domo ipod case: $23 on etsy, $1 diy.

two of my favorite things.

omgsotruethattotallydescribesyou/me/peopleweknow

ENOUGH.

then I realized that it was 8 o’clock.

obsessed with this apartment complex.

If Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls don’t qualify as a “superfood,” then I don’t know what does.

this just in: yuca frites > french fries. infinitely.

I guess I should check out this “Pinterest” thing that everyone has been raving about lately.

I feel like Paranoid Parrot memes are the most effective way to update people re: what’s going on in my life right now.

Under editor Will Shortz, The New York Times crossword puzzle has won fans for being in touch with the modern world — relying less on arcane words and more on a working knowledge of America’s cultural landscape.

But according to some, Shortz took a false step with this past Saturday’s puzzle, when he included a clue steeped in hip-hop slang. The clue asked for a 5-letter word that means “Wack, in hip-hop.”

The answer was “Illin’”.

Illin?! Will Shortz, I will take your job one day and do it way better, too.